Identifying Resentments: The First Step to Managing Burnout
We hear lots of conversation about what BURNOUT is and what it looks like, but not where it comes from. When experiencing burnout, or feeling unsatisfied, stuck, exhausted, distracted, unmotivated, negative, and doubtful, how do we find the origin to begin engaging on a path to solve it?
The first step of tackling burnout is to identify the source, so that we can make an action plan around it. Burnout is supercharged by resentments, so by pinpointing what we feel resentment about, we can get to the core of what is causing us to burnout. Is it a particular task, duty or requirement? Is it not having enough time to take care of ourselves? Is it feeling like a broken record because those around us aren’t listening? While this isn’t always easy to acknowledge, it can be empowering to get a clearer picture of what’s going on, which gives us the best possible chance of solving it.
When I work with clients around identifying resentments, or sources of burnout for them, I invite them to make a list of the pros and cons of whatever circumstances they feel burnt out around, whether it be their job or career, relationships, self-care practices, building their businesses, etc., with unrelenting honesty, to really assess their feelings about it. What are the things you love and the things that you dread? What parts energize you and which ones leave you feeling drained? The latter, the pain points, are what you want to use to create an action plan.
When facing burnout and identifying our resentments, two main paths typically apply:
1) Adjusting where you are to make it more sustainable
OR
2) Changing your situation for a different, improved outcome.
Examining our starting place and potential options therein can be an approachable way to begin. Can you modify or change the circumstances to make it more tolerable? What would it take to do that? Would it be ending work at a pre-determined time and sticking to it, so that you have room in your week for work-life balance? Would it be setting boundaries in that relationship to see if it addresses the problem at hand? What small, initial steps can you take to begin experimenting with change that will improve your situation? Looking at options that are within our realm of control can help us feel empowered to make changes.
If altering the current circumstances isn’t reducing or eliminating the resentment, it’s time to explore step two around what other alternative situations could better support you. What have you already been considering or want to do in an ideal world? When your mind wanders to daydream about the perfect circumstance, where does it go? Where could you find more of the positive attributes that you are looking for without so many of the continued sources of resentment? Examining alternative provides a substitute to feeling stuck or trapped, and can inspire us to take the next step.
Exploring these two paths can open up our awareness and begin to identify options that can help to restore a sense of opportunity and optimism, and start you on your path to feeling unstuck and re-energized. Identifying those sources gears you up to then take the next step, which is to identify the self-care practices you need to support these changes and make an action plan to put them into place. Stick around for part two, where we’ll explore how I work with my clients to build these practices and how to identify the ones you need to fight back against your burnout.
Christie Cotcher, M.A., LMFT is a Self-Care Coach for Professionals and a licensed therapist. For more information about her coaching services and webinars, please visit www.christiecotcher.com and social media pages facebook.com/ChristieCotcherCoaching and instagram.com/christie_cotcher_coaching